There are several filters I use when considering potential
partners. I always tend to factor in how open minded someone is. I absolutely
hate when people are stubborn; I see this as an indicator for several potential
arguments in the future. I also factor how they behave with their mother. I
dated one person in the past that was awful to their mother and I hated the
idea of my future children treating me that way. I’m a firm believer in monkey
see monkey do; I wouldn’t want my children picking up those kinds of behaviors.
I have eliminated someone with preinteraction cues- more specifically the
indicators in verbal communication that they are closed off. I don’t have a
desire to talk to someone that is folding their arms and avoiding eye contact….
Duck’s theory does make sense to me and I think we all use filtering methods in
several relationships, not just romantic ones. I don’t like to keep friends in
my life that are disrespectful. What is funny about this is my current
boyfriend was ‘eliminated’ initially, but I changed my mind about him after a
conversation with him at a party. I was initially turned off by his behavior at
a friend’s party, but then I got to know him more on Halloween; we have been
exactly three years now…
I whole-heartedly agree with you that stubborn people can be a major turn-off. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve tried to have a conversation with someone and they can’t seem to wrap their head around a logical argument, or see something from another perspective. I can understand someone being firm in their convictions, but just blatantly dismissing evidence that could sway an ordinary person from one position to another just bugs me. Being respectful to everyone you meet can sometimes be a daunting task, but in my opinion, it’s worth it in the long run as you have no idea how your interaction with someone one day will reflect positively or negatively the next.
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