Concept

I see more and more websites popping up. I laughed a little at reading this portion of the chapter because they have literally run out of websites that they have to change the ending. You can have .co versus .com. It really is an effective way to communicate as long as you do it right. You can have a flashy website and people will completely miss the point of the message. Website should be informative if you are serious about your business; unless of course your business is something silly. It is definitely more economical to have a website, but there are other downsides. It is more difficult to advertise solely a website. Most people still use a television ad to get people to go to the website. Its almost comical though… You spend money on a television ad and put your website on it; a medium that was meant to be cheaper than television advertising.

Television

2). Do you agree with Marshall McLuhan that the medium is the message, i.e., that the format or logic of a medium is as important as its content and, in fact, determines what content will be broadcast through that channel?  Evaluate his idea that television is a cool medium. 

I do agree with him on this. It is easier to understand a message when it is visual. People these days don't want to read much; they want to be able to see something and make their own interpretation. We are a visual culture and one with many non verbal behaviors. We watch television and put together nonverbal clues to fit the interpretation we want to make. Radio doesn't allow for this really... We hear things but can't see how the person is reacting to their message. I think people just have to be more careful on television to really get their point across. They can  be telling us one thing but their actions could tell a completely different message.  Thus creating more pressure for them when they are on television. We also tend to be more interested in looking at people. They pointed this out in the book with the comparison of JFK and Nixon. Of course people wanted to watch them debate rather than hear them on the radio! What woman WOULDN'T want to see JFK speak in public.

Cyberspace.

1). Have you made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace?  If so, how are they different from f2f relationships?  If you have not formed cyber relationships, why not?

I can’t remember the last time I had an online only friend. To be honest, the concept seems nice. You can tell pretty much everything to someone you don’t intend to meet in person. There is less pressure to be discreet. However, I haven’t formed any cyber relationships in the past decade. I feel you don’t have the same relationship as you do in person. You’ve Got Mail seemed to glorify the online relationship, but even then they met in person. I think it comes to a point that you need to make sure this person is real and that you’re not just talking to a robot. To me, it felt like I was just writing in a journal versus actually having a friend. I always questioned their messages to me and wondered if they were really telling the truth. I pretty much just keep my friends face to face and just write in a paper journal when I want to bear all of my secrets.

 

Informal Structures

This was brought up already, but in specific manners. I wanted to talk about the broader sense of informal structures. This concept caught my eye because of the 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' idea. I had no idea that this was originally an idea by Milgram- I was only familiar with the experiment Milgram created with the fake shocking of people. Its amazing how common it is to know a friend of a friend. It became more evident as I grew older and switched organizations. My first day at my current work (five years ago) one of the managers had told me that they were related to a former coworker of mine at the previous company I worked for. It really is a small world as the book infers. To get back on the topic of the informal structures--- these relationships we create with friends started off as casual and even awkward at times. The same goes for our professional relationships. We tend to make relationships with our coworkers and eventually things start to get more casual at work. We then take advantage of these relationships to converse with each other in a casual manner. It is a more comfortable method of communication since we feel we can ease our fears with coworkers by gaining their insight and opinions about what's going on at work. You don't get the same kind of uncensored communication with your superiors.

#2

2). Review the etiquette rules suggested in the text.  Respond to each one.  Have you ever been bothered by cell phones, touch pads, laptops, computers, answering machines, or beepers?  What do you feel about call waiting?  Is it rude to put people on hold and take another call?


Cell phones--- I absolutely hate when people take calls at movie theaters or concerts. I'm bothered a lot by cell phones. I'm the nerd that hates when people use them in class. I find it rude and a disturbance to the other people in the room. 

Answering machines--- I've known people to have silly voice messages. I feel that this is fine and dandy unless you are a professional or applying for jobs. 

Conference calls--- I agree with this. I hate when I'm on a conference call and people don't identify themselves. It makes the conversation confusing. 

Faxes-- I agree with this as well. The phone still rings when you get a fax and sending one late at night is a huge inconvenience. 

Timing communication--- This one is similar to the answer above. I have to do this at work as well. There are certain guidelines about calling so that we don't disturb people. 

Screen names--- I feel that people don't take things seriously even when they are grown adults. I see the most ridiculous emails at my job. I'm amazed that more people don't take a more professional attitude when it comes to email addresses and screen names... 

 

Duck!

There are several filters I use when considering potential partners. I always tend to factor in how open minded someone is. I absolutely hate when people are stubborn; I see this as an indicator for several potential arguments in the future. I also factor how they behave with their mother. I dated one person in the past that was awful to their mother and I hated the idea of my future children treating me that way. I’m a firm believer in monkey see monkey do; I wouldn’t want my children picking up those kinds of behaviors. I have eliminated someone with preinteraction cues- more specifically the indicators in verbal communication that they are closed off. I don’t have a desire to talk to someone that is folding their arms and avoiding eye contact…. Duck’s theory does make sense to me and I think we all use filtering methods in several relationships, not just romantic ones. I don’t like to keep friends in my life that are disrespectful. What is funny about this is my current boyfriend was ‘eliminated’ initially, but I changed my mind about him after a conversation with him at a party. I was initially turned off by his behavior at a friend’s party, but then I got to know him more on Halloween; we have been exactly three years now…

Concept

Managing Interpersonal Conflict

I thought of all of the concepts this was the most useful. We can identify ourselves all we want, but that won't help us when it comes to solving conflict. People tend to be stubborn at times and knowing that certain methods of conflict resolution are better than others can really save a relationship. Conflict management skills are vital in the business world and I can see the appeal to mediation versus taking someone to court. Conflict management is better for a relationship- it is direct conversation with the person you are having issues with. Of course methods like forcing aren't always effective since someone will eventually get hurt that way and accommodating frequently will also lead to conflict again. Compromising and problem solving were always me favorite. I think its vital to come to a compromise so that both parties can get a portion of what they want. Unfortunately we are becoming a culture of not wanting to compromise, but I think this method is best next to problem solving. There are times that a whole new solution is best rather than combining one.

Either way, I feel that this concept was really important. Having conflict resolution skills comes in handy at work when coworkers don't agree on things. Being stubborn won't get you far and neither will having people fear you for never compromising.

culture!

Yes I do believe that we are creatures of our culture.  Our lives are shaped by the way the people around us behave. Many of my mannerisms come from the habits of my family members. (I blame my dad for my mild OCD.) It’s a pretty simple concept though. You see people do things around you and you just tend to pick it up. This is true when you are young because you really don’t have any other frame of reference. Its just how we learn as children; our surroundings shape who we grow up to be. Even if you don’t necessarily like everything going on around you, it still influences who you don’t want to be. Breaking through the limits of our cultures really comes down to how open minded you are. I feel that being open minded also has to do with our culture. If you grow up to be stubborn then you will just be set in your ways and not really ever change your culture.

Nonverbal Issues

1). Because nonverbal messages can be ambiguous, they are open to misinterpretation.  Have you ever been wrong about the meaning of someones nonverbal message?  Describe what happened.  How can people increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal messages? 


I have been wrong several times about non verbal messages. One time in particular I misinterpreted what my roommates messages meant. There was a week that she was avoiding me. Whenever I would come home she would immediately go into her room. I was confused and thought she was mad at me. I didn't know the reason, but I was frustrated that she didn't want to even talk to me. It turned out later that one of her cats had chewed the cord to my computer and she was afraid to tell me. She was embarrassed about it, but I thought she was angry with me. The biggest thing I have learned about this is you need to actually talk and ask the meaning of their nonverbal messages. It might be tough, but messages can mean different things. We won't know until we actually ask. There are ways to ask that won't be offensive. (i.e. It seems you've been avoiding me... Is there anything wrong?) Its really simple, but it isn't really offensive to them. It seems to be working so far; I have avoided awkward situations because I actually ask questions now instead of being passive.

Language

2). Do you agree that men and women use language differently?  In what areas?  Discuss this in detail. 


I do agree that men and women use language differently, however not in the same way the book describes. The book talks about women and men growing up in different cultures and its effect on language. While I believe this to be true, I feel that there has been a change in our current culture. I have noticed that some men are actually more communicative than I am. This could be because I am also foreign... In my culture women internalize things and do not necessarily ask too many questions. Unfortunately I grew up like this and it was difficult to actually say what was on my mind. I feel that there is a closing gap in terms of our differences in communication. My boyfriend was bothered by the fact that I didn't always say what was bothering me or what I was thinking in general. It was odd to me to date someone that was actually more open to communication than I was. While I feel this has changed, I don't think the other ways men and women use language will. My boyfriend loves watching 'Cops' and goes on long rants about how all of the ones arrested should plead the fifth. While these are his external thoughts during the show I cant help but think of other aspects such as why that person would lead a life that would result in their crimes... It truly is interesting how the minds work!

Concept- Symbols!

Language is symbolic and I have always believed this to be true. We use symbols in some way when we talk even if we don’t directly refer to them. During conversations we picture the things that we are talking about. Symbols are powerful since we don’t all see the same symbol when we speak to one another. If I am talking about a dog then my friend will picture their own idea of what a dog looks like. It could be entirely different than what I am thinking of, but the basic idea that it’s a dog will still stick. It is important that we are descriptive in our conversations because of the fact that language is symbolic. It is easy for miscommunication to occur when you are vague in your descriptions. I have found this to be important when writing the grocery list for my boyfriend. I might want a specific kind of beef, but if I just write ‘meat’ he might come back with a New York steak when I wanted sirloin.

Judgements

1). Is it possible to perceive others without in some way judging or categorizing them?  If so, how?  If not, how can we make the judgments we do make more fair?

I have thought about this for the past decade... It feels impossible to perceive others without making some kind of judgment. I think we can try to attain communication without judgment by listening to what others say before we make our assumptions. I have tried to do this for the past few years and have found that it is possible to some extent. I will never be able to take initial impressions away, but I am more able to reserve my judgments until I actually get to know someone or listen to an argument. Regardless of when I make them, judgments will always be there. I don’t really know if it is possible for others to never make judgments about others, but I know that it is something I will always find to be a challenge. The only way to make it seem less offensive is to at least reserve those judgments until you actually listen to an argument or get to know a person.

 

#2

I would have to say that Anderson Cooper is a good speaker. He seems to have all three, but credibility and attractiveness as his main strengths. He does have power when I come to think of it, in my opinion he was one of the last good journalists. I remember reading about an incident on his talk show. Some may have said that he sold out by having a talk show, but he still kept his integrity. A woman came on the show once known as ‘the human barbie’ and she talked about giving her young daughter plastic surgery coupons. Anderson Cooper was so disgusted that he kicked her off the show. This really made me think that he will always keep his integrity and I still feel like I can trust what he says. He built ethos through credibility; by kicking that woman off the show he maintained his credible status. It seems odd to say, but he would rather have an honest discussion with someone rather than someone just looking for publicity.